Christmas shopping
by Chiisaioni
Summary: Lithuania is shopping for Christmas presents. Mainly for Poland, but other characters may get their share. / Warning: political in-correctness.


It was almost Christmas time, and Lithuania was short of few presents. He went to a mall, hoping to know what to buy when he would see it. He still hasn't found anything for Poland, so he turned to an aisle with funny things. Looking for something pink, that would scream "extraordinary", he noticed a colourful glasses for drinks.

_It's better to be famous drunkard, than anonymous alcoholic_, the text on it said. He put it back shuddering. It reminded him too much of Russia.

He looked among the shelves looking for something else, spotting pillow in rainbow shape. He grabbed it, thinking that Poland would love the fluffiness of the thing. But on the second thought…

„He has enough of the rainbows in his house already. I don't think he would appreciate another one" Taurys thought of the giant rainbow that Feliks put next to his house in Warsaw. He chuckled, remembering the never ending calls that he was getting from Pole for last few years.

„_Licia_, seriously! This is like the most wonderful thing in the universe! Look at all those colours! That would be like a total surprise for the tourists! And it matches my hair!" was the first thing about the rainbow that Feliks almost screamed to the phone.

Taurys shook his head smiling lightly, remembering another call that he got from Feliks few months ago.

„_Liciaaaa~"_ he heard muffled cry „I destroyed it again! I was totally thinking if I should like get it disassembled, 'coz it started to feel like really annoying looking at that thing every day, but I didn't like really mean it!" Feliks was almost wailing. After hearing the whole story Lithuanian was almost bleeding from his lip, giving how hard he was biting it trying not to laugh. Apparently Feliks went to a pub with some of the other nations, and after drinking contest with Gilbert they have decided the easiest way to get the rainbow down was to burn it. When they woke up the next day it was all over the news. It got a lot of pulling strings and yelling from both sides, until Polish government sold the news plausible story not revealing existence of personifications. Gilbert got somehow copy of city CCTV and showed it to everyone at the next conference, although it seemed to Taurys that while Feliks was laughing with everyone else, he was pretty embarrassed about it. Especially giving the meaning of the rainbow.

Lithuanian broke off his thoughts and decided that he can't give it to Poland. Nonetheless, it was really nice, so he thought maybe if he bought additional unicorn it could be a nice funny present for England. He was just about to put it in his basket when he remembered that America had bought the Brit a kilt for a present. "Maybe he would think that I'm laughing at him too" he sighed nervously and put the pillow back on the shelf.

He strode through aisles with electronics, picking console games for some nations. He smiled trying to decide which dating simulator Japan would like the most, and wondering if Prussia would laugh at empire building strategy game he's chosen.

Next aisle was all filled with books. He could think of any specific genre that any nations would want. Everyone got everything they wanted. America always has the newest comic book delivered to his house. Estonia was preferring e-books that he could have any time he wanted. England didn't like anything that wasn't written long ago, turned into a play and then into a musical. Lithuania didn't even try to think of giving Russia a book, as the nation took lately anything as an insult.

"So you think that I should read more? That I'm behind our western comrades, _da_?" he could almost see Ivan's hands clenching on his favourite pipe, while he smiled saying this.

Taurys trembled a little. Not wanting to think of former suppressor any more he desperately searched his brain for someone who needed any kind of novel, cooking book, textbook…

"Of course!" he laughed a little, getting stares from people in the same aisle. He wanted to get Poland something funny – here it is. He grabbed _How to learn English in a month _and put it in the basket. Everyone was teasing Feliks for his lack of English skills, that he talked like a valley girl or had barely better accent than Japan. Those jibes were even more common now that his former prime minister got to be head of European Council. Taurys himself was doubting a little that Feliks would be up to the job, but thinking how hard both of them tried to repair their broken relationship he decided to give Pole some credit.

He doubted the choice of presents all the way to a cash register. Would they like them? Would Feliks laugh at the book or would he be offended? Lithuania hoped that his friend didn't change so much and still didn't take comments like that to himself.

* * *

><p>The Christmas meeting wasn't calm at all. France had been trying to give everything from himself, and not in his twisted perverted way, as he was this year host. Together with Liechtenstein they decorated whole room and baked, in case not everyone could afford to bring their national specials (nobody was pointing to Greece) or, like in England's case, they were inedible.<p>

In fact everything was going well until they have realised that they haven't made sitting arrangement in order to prevent any killing this evening. They've only managed to solve Russia-Ukraine situation when the nations began to gather. They were few squabbles, like when someone tried to sit on Canada. All hell broke loose when Finland started to give away presents. Apparently some nations decided to use the situation for their personal squabbles and Taurys had to duck a few times in his seat, avoiding flying plates and presents from their angry owners.

Just as the red mug with _Keep calm and just bloody decide _text on it flew from Kirkland family part of the table, Santa-Tino made his way to Lithuanian.

"_Hyvää Joulua!_" he smiled at Taurys. „I've brought some presents for you, ho ho ho~" he reached for small packages in enormous sack he was dragging behind him.

Lithuania looked through them, opening one at the time and then going through arguing mob to thank each of his giver personally. He was going back from thanking Latvia for a hand-knit woollen mittens, when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"_Licia, ty głupku~!_" Feliks was smirking at him with one hand on his hips. "You totally forgot that I've like know English forever" he waved the book he received in front of Taurys face, almost hitting his nose with it. "And you totally ignored my present. You have to see it! It's like super important, 'coz it's the matter of like national importance!" and before Lithuanian could even blinked he tore one of unpacked presents' wrapping and push it in Taurys hands.

"An atlas?" he looked down at the thing he was holding. "But what fo-…"

"It's not just atlas! Give it to me! You're totally slow" Feliks tore the book from his hands and began searching through its pages. "Look, it' super important that you see it! It's like the best thing that I've ever came up with!"

Taurys looked at the page that Pole's finger has been pointing at. It was a map of Lithuania with its south regions crossed across with red line. He looked curiously at Feliks.

"It's my country, but I don't un-…"

"Oh come on! You don't get it? So here's my brilliant idea! Since like most of these regions have some of my people and you like totally don't know what to do with them I thought that it's super clever to just add this part to my land and then everybody would be super totally happy!" Feliks was almost jumping around, clearly proud of himself.

"You've got to be joking" Lithuania sighed.

"Just whatever! You've totally have to think about it. And I'm like going, 'coz I have to watch for Ukraine and Erzsébet told me she wanted to tell me some totally super news" he snapped his fingers, spun on a heel and walked to Hungary.

Taurys rubbed his temples. Some things would never change, no matter if you are independent, in union or a bunch of tribes.

* * *

><p><strong>Meanings:<strong>

_Licia_ – "Liet" in Polish

_Hyvää Joulua!_ – "Merry Christmas" in Finnish

_Ty głupku_ – "Silly you" in Polish


End file.
